Here's a sequel to this mad idea as a
celebration of Itachi's birthday today.
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“Do you really want to do this?”
Kisame asked, hoping his partner to change his mind if he repeated
the question multiple time.
Itachi shot him a look, the same
annoyed look as before. A look that said that nothing could change
his mind.
At least, Kisame thought that was what
the look said. For all he knew, the look could be Itachi's way of
telling Kisame that he was close to death at the younger ninja's
hand.
“But this is...” Kisame struggled
for the right words. “This isn't the sort of place for us. We stand
out even without the Akatsuki cloaks.”
Itachi turned away from him to look
straight ahead.
Kisame hunched down with a sigh,
wishing he was shorter so he wouldn't tower over everyone in the slow
moving line. The youngsters, most of them female, fidgeted in the
line with an impatient energy that made Kisame antsy.
He had to stop himself multiple times
from drawing Sameheda out of pure frustration at the sheer grating
noise levels from the others in line.
He didn't doubt if he did something
outrageous, Itachi would make him pay. He'd probably make Kisame
watch that accursed movie again.
Even though he knew that the line was
moving, Kisame was still surprised when they reached the front in
less than half an hour. He was even more surprised when the actor
from the movie straightened with recognition.
Itachi nodded with a solemn expression
and held out a movie poster that he had acquired before getting into
line.
With a pained groan, the actor covered
his face for a moment. “Crap. Really, Itachi?”
Itachi shot him a pointed look.
“You could at least use words,” the
actor said with a put upon expression. “What do you want me to
write on this?”
Itachi shrugged.
The actor narrowed his eyes. “Just
for that, I'm going to put someone else's name on this.”
Kisame snorted. “Write Tobi.”
Itachi turned to him with a menacing
glare, complete with a flash of red eyes.
Glancing between Itachi and Kisame, the
actor smirked, not even batting an eyelid at Kisame's less than human
appearance. “You know what, I think I will. Tobi sounds like a nice
name to write.”
Kisame had to give the youngster points
for being willing to taunt the Uchiha.
“Harii,” Itachi said with a stern
tone.
“What?” Harii, the actor said with
a devious smile even though he signed the poster with the correct
name.
“Are you making a sequel?” Itachi
asked.
“I hope not,” Harii crinkled his
nose and groused, “No one said I'd have to do all this. I was just
trying to stop Makino from bothering Naruto so much.”
Kisame startled at the name for an
instant before relaxing. There was no way the actor was talking about
their Jinchurichi target, especially since he knew Itachi. “Don't
like being a movie star?”
“I didn't really think the movie
would be so... famous,” Harii said. “The story doesn't even make
sense. And my character is ridiculous.”
Kisame nodded. “Terrible dialogue.”
“I had to do multiple takes because I
always messed up my lines. Worst part of the entire thing was redoing
those dramatics when all that fake blood was seeping through my
outfit.” Harii shuddered as though reliving those memories.
Kisame chuckled but stopped himself and
chanced a glance at Itachi.
Itachi, who wasn't angry at the actor
for dissing the dialogue like Kisame had done before, placed another
poster in front of Harii. “You should make a sequel.”
“Why?” Harii said, flinching back
and looking completely disgusted by the mere idea.
“A story like that needs to be
expanded upon,” Itachi said.
Harii looked unconvinced. “The only
way I'll do a sequel is if my character is unable to speak.”
“What if you get a love interest in
the story?” Kisame asked with unbidden amusement.
Harii rolled his eyes. “Have you seen
my character? No one would fall in love with such an idiot.”
“Then maybe your sequel can be a
comedy,” Kisame suggested.
“Not if Makino gets on his ridiculous
inspiration binges. Then I'll probably be stuck with an even more
dramatic storyline. Thankfully he's used up all of his inspiration
with this one. He was even talking about retirement.”
Itachi frowned, and Kisame idly
wondered if the Uchiha was planning on inspiring this 'Makino' to
make the sequel a very real thing.
Harii pushed back the signed items to
Itachi. “Is that all?”
Itachi nodded.
“You look much better than a last
time I saw you,” Harii said with sincerity in his voice. Then he
turned to Kisame and said, “Sorry you got dragged here for this.”
Kisame shrugged, sheepish that the
young actor had gotten such a good read of him in a few minutes.
“Better than doing nothing.”
“Look, if there's ever a next time,
don't wait in line,” Harii said with a look that said he really
hoped there wouldn't ever be a next time. “Let's just meet as
normal people.”
Minutes later, as they walked out of
the village with their Akatsuki cloaks back on, Kisame said, “He's
not bad for an actor. Very... approachable.”
Itachi glanced at him. “They're
replaying the movie in the theatre.”
Kisame sighed with clear resignation.
“Fine. It's not like there's anything else to do today.”
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Kisame, no. You've fallen into Itachi's
trap. You're becoming... a fan.
If I ever continue this, I'm going to turn it into a crack plot where Harry achieves world peace with his sequel.
Polar
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