This omake is mostly centered around Sakura. And in keeping with DtE's overall tone, it's all fairly ridiculous but still loads of fun to write.
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1.
“What the fuck is that?” Grimmjow
grimaced and flinched away from the swaddled bundle. “It took you
nine months to create this ugly thing? You had to stay in Konoha for
this?”
Sakura, sitting up on her hospital bed,
rolled her eyes. Her husband, the blond foreign ninja whose name
Grimmjow never wanted to learn, narrowed his eyes and opened his
mouth but quietened when Sakura grabbed his hand. “Don't take his
words so seriously, Shi.”
“But,” the foreign ninja said.
“That's just his way. You should be
used to him by now.”
“Bitch, don't pretend like you know
me.”
Sakura ignored him and turned to her
bickering team-mates. “Neither of you two idiots are the
godfather.”
“What?” Naruto yelled. “Why not?
I'm perfect godfather material. Perfect!”
Sasuke narrowed his eyes.
“Because you're both idiots,”
Sakura said without any remorse. “And my firstborn deserves better
than that. You'll just have to deal with being the idiot uncles.”
2.
“Grimmjow I just gave birth, I can't
just leave my baby.”
“Why not?” Grimmjow snarled.
“I have to feed her,” Sakura said.
“Isn't that his job, now?” Grimmjow
shot the blond ninja a short glance.
Sakura snorted, looking amused.
“That's... Shi can't do that by himself.”
“What is the point of keeping him
around.”
The blonde seemed resigned to
Grimmjow's barbs and didn't even protest. This was why Grimmjow had
never approved of him in the first place.
But did Sakura ever listen to wisdom?
3.
Grimmjow stared at the scene curiously
with a tilted head. “Is this... a kidnapping attempt on you?”
Sakura rolled her eyes as
she slammed her opponent's head down with a resounding crack. “It's
an assassination attempt.”
Grimmjow frowned as he moved forward to
the downed man. “Hey,” he prodded the man. “Where's the rest of
your group?”
The man just coughed up blood.
“Assassinations usually don't involve
groups. They only send out one person,” Sakura said as she
straightened her clothes. “Can you believe the nerve?”
“I know!” Grimmjow said. “How can
they be so fucking lame? It's a group or better yet an invasion, or
don't even bother.”
Sakura stared at him and sighed. “I
meant, look at the mess he made. The house is going to smell like
bleach after clean up.”
Grimmjow
prodded the bleeding man again. “Hey come on, tell me you actually brought an entire group for this...”
4.
“Someone kidnapped your child,”
Grimmjow said with surprise. “Yours?”
Sakura's green eyes glittered with
promise of large-scale destruction. “Can you track them?”
Gimmjow grinned. Now this was the
murderous Sakura he had come to know. The one he had gotten used to. No, actually this Sakura was even more murderous than before.
“Who do you think I am?”
5.
Grimmjow stared at the
infant in Sakura's hands thoughtfully. “You should make more.”
Sakura stared at him. “I'm
not having more children just so you can deal with more kidnappings.”
Grimmjow huffed and rolled his eyes.
“You're always such a spoilt sport.”
“Yes, the biggest tragedy of my
life.”
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Sakura had at least two more kids. All of whom were super prone to being kidnapped.
Polar
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